There are two questions plaguing my mind at the end of this week and, while they are not earthshaking, I really want to get some answers.
What's a 'vegan strip club' and why is Apple's GPS app for some newer iPhones and iPads taking drivers to the Fairbanks International Airport's runway and not the terminal?
Since I leave Sunday morning for a week on an island in South Carolina, I want to be informed before I go and rest my brain and lie in the sun for a week.
So, let's get the easy answer first.
According to the Associated Press, the airport's spokeswoman Angie Spear says Apple has disabled the directions after a previous glitch took drivers to the edge of a runway instead of the terminal.
And what's even scarier? Twice this month, drivers ignored signs and warning lights and continued over an active runway. The state of Alaska has asked Apple to fix the map, and airport officials have barricaded that entrance to the taxiway.
Really? Like when you saw the runway lights you didn't think it wasn't the terminal?
OK, now on to the second query.
The main story out of Newark, New Jersey was that U.S. Senate candidate Cory Booker, who is also the Mayor of Newark, confirmed that he messaged with a stripper on Twitter. (I was going to say he tweeted with a stripper but that brings up an entire other list of questions. But I digress.)
He told reporters and AP Thursday he communicates with thousands of people on Twitter and doesn't pay attention to their handles or profession.
Booker, 44, who is single, exchanged direct messages earlier this year with Lynsie Lee, who works in a vegan strip club in Portland, Ore., called Casa Diablo.
OK, forget about Booker and the Stripper -- although that reminds me of the TV show "BJ and the Bear" -- because politicians like Anthony Weiner have made political incorrectness a cottage industry.
In my opinion, the only real interesting part -- or the "news," if you will -- is the vegan strip club part.
So, I did some research. How did Portland get a vegan strip club?
In Oregon, it's easy to open a strip club. But if you want a liquor license, you have to serve food. And Portland is very vegan-friendly. (Who knew?)
Back in 2008, what's now Casa Diablo was a vegan restaurant called Pirate's Tavern. Johnny Diablo, the owner, built a raised stage and hired nude dancers.
See, in Oregon, you can open a strip club in most any commercially zoned location, featuring most any kind of show.
So I guess it wasn't a case of filling a niche. The vegan restaurant ended up with nude women in it. So now we know which came first, the chicken or the egg?
By the way, know that Portland has the highest concentration of strip clubs per capita among America's 50 largest cities. All serve food because all serve liquor. One was bound to be vegan.
Now if I can only find one that only serves bacon. Have fun.